Selfish or Selfing – Watch that inner critic
Do you suffer feelings of guilt when you take time out just for yourself? Is it Selfish or Selfing, that is the question? If you’re a member of the baby boomer generation or their offspring the word Selfish is probably better understood than selfing. When I grew up, I was very often accused of being selfish if I took time to do the things I loved. This branding came with its intended sticky strings of ‘guilt’. Sadly Martyrdom was the style of that era, especially for us women.
Well friends, that’s a thing of the past. Guilt is a toxic energy (fed by should’s and must’s) that only leads us to feeling exhausted and LESS THAN. And feeling ‘less than’ or ‘not good enough’ will not help us to live consciously. It feeds the sense of self in a very unhealthy way.
So what is SELFING? Selfing is taking ‘me time guilt free’. Making sure we are looking after ourselves first, keeping our vibration high. This way we can offer a greater contribution to the whole. In crash preparation we are instructed to put our oxygen mask on first then tending to others.
Selfing is an important ‘loving action’ that can help us to live mindfully and develop a healthy relationship with the most important person in our life, ME. It also helps us to develop body consciousness by listening to what our body has to tell us.
Living Life By Design
Living your life ‘by design’ is a concept worth exploring. On the up side it means living a life you Love. Doing what inspires you and feeling nourished and peaceful at the same time. On the tough side it means taking responsibility for ALL the choices we make in everyday life that don’t support us feeling in flow or balance.
Taking responsibility for the choices we have made and where we are in our lives is not a criticism. It is a launching pad for change.
It is too easy to live on autopilot, mindlessly going through the paces day after day feeling bored or resentful about our life. Yes the martyr is creeping in here so look out. So what changes when we commit to living a ‘Life By Design’?
It means consciously aligning our everyday choices with a ‘higher purpose’ . By weeding out automations and unconscious habits that keep us REACTING instead of ACTING with power and intention ON SOUL PURPOSE. By creating an intimate relationship with ourselves. To ‘know thyself’ is to understand ‘our needs’ in order to feel our best.
Every Choice is an Act of Power
Even our small choices make a marked difference to our state of mind and overall health. With every choice we make we are either aligning with our highest potential or lowering our standards to suit another or an easier choice. And that can be exhausting. If you are leaking energy to another it may be time is set some boundaries that honour our soul purpose.
And look out for the old self-sabotaging habits.
eg: Is my glass half empty or half full today?
Will I make the effort to exercise or am I too lazy? (watch that inner critic, it’ll get you every time)
Should I push through or take a rest to refresh myself?
Choices arise every day around our work-play balance, the way we communicate with our colleagues, in our relationships as well as our lifestyle. If we are nourished, balanced, positive and aligned from our healthy SELFING TIME we easily make positive choices. Most importantly is our INNER DIALOGUE, which may need some adjustments. By taking time to watch or witness our inner dialogue we can learn a lot about our what to let go of and what to follow. And we can choose to fulfil our needs lovingly guilt free.
SELFING the New You
For me this means making time for my daily yoga and meditation and having joyful time in the garden with nature to balance out my office time. It takes will power and commitment but for me SELFING is the least selfish thing I can do. It has taken a long time to learn how to give to myself and I am a far better person for it. It ensures I stay in my FLOW.
If I feel a bit out of balance I know its time for some ‘Guilt Free Selfing” like a walk in the rainforest, a yoga nidra or to get out in the garden and feel the dirt under my feet. Spend fun time with my loved ones.
I have also designed my business to keep me in my flow – I facilitate nourishing retreats and workshops with my beloved husband so we can share with beautiful people in tranquil surroundings. I sing every day and write from home looking out over my tropical garden. I practise a personal yoga practice and make time for stillness or meditation. And I love to grow veggies then cook and eat healthy nourishing live food.
Lets face it when we’re rested, nourished and have taken time to uplift our soul we feel GREAT! This vibration of presence, contentment and openness then has a flow-on effect to everyone we meet.
Have you thought about how you practice Selfing? How do you get back into your flow.